Laundry Day

Back at Mountain Provence this morning working with Angelo.

There is an aloof bald man with trendy glasses that sometimes runs the register here (think unsmiling brother of Jim Rash.) Though I've been coming here somewhat often, I've not befriended any of the baristas so far. I'm not sure any of them recognize me. I saw he had an iPad propped up with the Japanese word miseru. "Are you studying Japanese?" I ask, excited to have something to bond over.

"Yeah, do you know it?"

"Well I studied it in high school actually."

"Oh, I studied it for 8 years. I just like to keep it up."

And that was it. Conversation over. Excuse me, I studied it for 6 years, I just didn't phrase it that way because I didn't want to sound like a lofty jerk. It was the emphasis of my linguistics major; I only studied it for two years in college because I started at the third-year level.

AND MISERU IS A BASIC ASS WORD, OK?

Can you tell I'm crabby today?


Normally I would try to go as long as humanly possible without doing my laundry but since I'm playing soccer and I only have one jersey I have to do my laundry every week. And since our washing machine is broken, I have to do it at the laundromat.

I was loading my clothes into the washer when I heard:

"Excuse me, miss?" I kept loading my clothes, I assumed this man was talking to the proprietor of the shop. "Miss?" I look up. Before me is a tall, pimply young man wearing a clean, crisp tucked-in-shirt and tie, holding several gift bags. After looking him up and down, unable to make sense of his garb and motive, I settle on a dark New York what? grimace. He says some garbled stuff about a promotion and beauty samples, would I like to check them out? He extends a gift bag towards me.

"No, I don't want anything." There's a moment of silence and I repeat myself, "I don't want anything."


Carrying my laundry back into the building I get stuck behind two guys on the stairwell who have nailed the The Big Lebowski aesthetic. One is wearing worn wicker flip flops, which is a real statement piece in October in NYC.

"Did you see the video online of the rat eating a pigeon?"


I need a job.